I have a thought. I know it's not how I usually start a journal, but anyway, I have a thought. Sometimes if you're bored and do something you think it's meaningless you'll develop some strange epiphany like this So here's the thing: I don't know since when but I always unconsciously tried to be different. It's not like 'I'm special' kinda way, but more like 'I'm not them' kinda way. I know, it's confusing. To make it clearer, when people do this, I'll do that; when people say this, I'll say that; when people wear this, I'll wear that. You know, I dont want to be a part of anything, I just want to be an individual. Does that make sense?

Just like what subject I took in Uni: Professional and Creative Writing. The title itself dont explain much, that makes people always ask: "so what are you gonna do in the future?" or "is it kind of like a journalism or something?" or "is there such course?" (blah! of course there is! I'm in it!)

The point is, I didnt take something like business or accounting (I think I'm allergic to those things) because I might not good at working in an office. Idk, maybe cause I'm not a hierarchy kind of person? I dont feel like working for people, well yeah if I write something it would technically still be working for people, but in a different kinda way.

Ok look, I almost lose my point x( where was I? Oh, yeah being different. So, the REAL point is, why people are confused when I do something different? People interpret writing = journalism, while I interpret writing = telling stories. As simple as that. Or drawing = scribbling, while I think drawing = being creative. Or or or! Watching movies = entertainment while I think watching movies = inspiration for my stories (that also goes to listening to musics and reading books).

But yes, I still believe all that basic stuff like 'smiling will make your day a lot better' or 'go to school then uni then get a job then get married then have kids then die' or 'respect your elders, especially your parents' or 'good deeds will make you go to heaven' kinda stuff. So, idk, sometimes what I want and how to get it seems like a big question mark to everybody. I mean why seems restless about it? because a. I will pursue it with my own way, and b. Believe me, it's not dangerous. Not just about what I want to do in the future, but also the stuffs I do, how I see things, what I want in a guy, what I see in a person, etc etc.

One day I have a thought of: it must be fun if I am able to drive and just go somewhere without any directions, or any plan. Maybe somewhere green, full of trees or maybe just a wide meadow and took plenty of pretty pictures in there. Or go alone to some place nobody knows for a whole day where I could just relax, have a quality time, get out of this stressful society. Dont get me wrong, I dont HATE people, some companies sometime are nice. But too many and too often? Yeah, that'll blow up my brain.

Ok, enough for anti-society thing if you still have questions, you can add a comment below, and I'll answer them in my next journal Let's move on to anti-art now. Anti-Art is not like I dont like Art, I mean hellowww who doesnt like art? My lovely friend Marsha Julyan was studying (are you still studying that?) about surrealism and dadaism. Dadaism is like an anti-art movement that was developed during the WW1. It's like people defied that ART should be something BEAUTIFUL. So then, dadaist (people who perform dadaism) tried to make a piece of art that are strange and absurd to portray the horrible destruction that caused by WW1. Just google it if you want to know what it's like. What I think, it's like Franz Ferdinand's video clip

Surrealism is also an anti-art movement that was developed from Dadaism. The art is strange, almost meaningless or it could be a satire or a symbolism of something else. Surrealism is like when you portray a world that only exist in dreams. Sometimes they are strange, right? and hard to be explained. One example that you might recognize is the move Spirited Away by Hayao Miyazaki and of course the comicbook of my heroine: Emily the Strange. You cant ask 'why?' to the surrealism art pieces because you wont find the answer

Neways, correct me if I'm wrong about those two

SO, I decided that I will try to become a Surrealist because yes, I enjoy writing about something strange and yes, I like applying symbolism in my story (except if I wrote a non-fiction piece) so, why not? I am researching about the examples of surrealism literature or magical realism literature (I'm not in the mood for explaining magical realism but one hint: Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the writer of Love In The Time Of Cholera is one of the magical realist).

So, I need information, if you guys know any writings in surrealism genre or magical realism genre OR found any surrealism society whatever that could help me learn these thing, please please please tell me

Another example of surrealism is Salvador Dali, you must check out his paintings